Bears turn up in the most unlikely of places…

What every gas station needs…its own dangerous bears. I stopped in for a slushie and a moon pie, but got attacked by a bear instead. So, did Robert get too close to the performing bears? And it should be noted that the bear’s mate was present, so it’s hardly surprising that he would react in the way he did.

Do not go to Redshaw’s Gas Station.

Let’s hope the bear doesn’t have Rabies, or this kid doesn’t stand a chance of surviving. And waiting to take action leads to a bigger problem…

The same bear that attacked Koch attacked, and killed, another child. But now we meet Hector Redshaw. He did something strange…

So much for keeping an eye on the bear. There probably aren’t many cops who can say that they were chased by someone who had a hatchet in one hand, and a bear on a leash in the other. The car belonged to Leslie Redshaw, the older brother of Hector.

But the bear…

…who we later find out was named Andy (the other named Amos), killed…

…five-year-old Peter Ryan.

So, the story just keeps getting stranger. The Redshaws bought the bears for $300, and took out a mortgage on them? What kind of bank did that?

More details…

Of course, sneaking up on the bears and do something that the bear might think is an attack directed at it is always a good idea. This attack did not happen at the infamous gas station…

Wow! Our famous acting bears are riding in a truck that breaks down.

There was a difference of opinion about what should be done with the bears. Andy was now guilty of murder.

So first…we’ll put him under guard. But then…

…sentence him to life in prison, by which is meant…the zoo. Solitary confinement?

…only to have his sentence changed to the death penalty, and he was executed. But what happened to Amos?

I would point out that Amos was never accused of hurting anyone. To put it simply, this was nothing more than a revenge killing.

Now you might think that surely such an event…attacked by a bear at the gas station…must be unique. It wasn’t.

Here we go again!

I wonder what happened to the bear…

I must confess that I don’t know what a zoological concern is. But at least they didn’t kill the bear.

Gas stations and beaches...sure, but that’s not all…

…restaurants have dangerous bears too. Why eat the meat raw, when we’re at a restaurant? And why at a restaurant?

Of course…Circus Restaurant! Why not have a zebra? Let’s go…low risk. And Yogi? That’s original.

Don’t blame us…we were nowhere near that restaurant.

And this just goes to show that once you start feeding a bear, you better not stop until he’s full. We’ve seen this with cookies and ice cream! Justice was served…

And…

And it turns out that Yogi…

…didn’t have any teeth. But where did Yogi come from?

He bought Yogi from a zoo? You would think that a zoo would know better.

Now, this is really sloppy. Goldilocks dealt with three bears, and she did the eating. Yogi is a cartoon bear, and had nothing to do with papa, mama, or baby bear. Introducing…

…two-year-old Kevin Kuhn.

No self-respecting shopping mall would be without its own bear. The decision to pose with it for a picture as though it was a mall Santa Claus was unfortunate. And…

…here is Fluffy. As one might expect, the bear was there because of a performance of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, other sources say the show was called…Goldilocks and Her Bears. Since there were actually four bears, the latter title is no doubt the right name.

And so, like Andy, Fluffy has attacked before. There followed a lawsuit, and it was noted that there was more than just the bear attack involving the parents…

Meanwhile…

However, the lawsuits in the case grew as time went on…

Stepmom is now involved. Both parents had remarried not long after Kevin was injured. The rather complicated litigation involving the Kuhn family ended like it should have…

Always remember to take a good look at a possible legal settlement and determine whether you really want to spend a couple of years in court.

We all know that school is becoming a dangerous place to be. Normally, this is due to human violence, but not always…

Wow! Now that’s a headline!

This attack was carried out in Alaska by a polar bear, the largest carnivore on the planet. However, polar bears attacking humans is a rare thing. And is so often the case in humans encountering bears, they are in the wrong place at the right time…

So it would seem that it was only a matter of minutes before getting safely into the school and missing the wandering bear.

Well, if you were a bear, and liked eating kids, a school would be a good place to go.

Now for a case that has a very entertaining twist…

John Doe Bear? We couldn’t have given him a real name? And it would seem that, like a real bear, there was still some feral in him. Disneyland, of course, denied that it ever happened, although they were the ones who gave Shante an aspirin, though the whole thing gives me a headache. It’s very difficult to understand why John Doe Bear would do such a thing. But it does offer an excuse for being unable, or unwilling, to play volleyball anymore.

John Doe Bear? We couldn’t have given him a real name? And it would seem that, like a real bear, there was still some feral in him. Disneyland, of course, denied that it ever happened, although they were the ones who gave Shante an aspirin, though the whole thing gives me a headache. It’s very difficult to understand why John Doe Bear would do such a thing. But it does offer an excuse for being unable, or unwilling, to play volleyball anymore.

It is purely due to Stannard’s hesitation to shoot the “bear” without talking to the police first that our unnamed idiotic kid lived to see another day.

Quite a bit of excitement at the Ponderosa Trailer Park.

And you thought country clubs were for golfing and mingling! True, but sometimes they can be rather dangerous. This was the case at the Medinah court club…

If this is a miniature zoo they were putting on, wouldn’t they have a cub, rather than an adult? Apparently, the country club did not provide sufficient security. What happened at the Seven Mile House tavern? Ask…

…Anna Louise Hastings.

On a sad note, the bear may have been upset by the loss of its owner. But good news…

…Anna came out to be just fine.

There are dangers involving bears that enter the city limits. And just for humans. If you were a bear, and ventured into Pidgeon Gulch, you would regret it. Especially if you crossed paths with fifteen-year-old…

Ivy Thompson, and isn’t that a disturbing picture! Under no circumstances should you underestimate her, or turn your back to her.

So it’s troubling to think that a fifteen-year-old kid can just walk into a sporting goods store and rent a rifle. And how fortuitous! Ivy’s walking around town with her rented rifle when a bear appears, and she…planted two bullets in the animal’s brain. And what a climax! The bear drops dead right at her feet.

Ivy’s reputation as a mean, gun-toting gal was infamous…

The terror directed at the local wildlife didn’t end for the poor bear…

Talk about escalation! From a 22-caliber rifle to a 25-20 high power rifle. Ah, yes! Girls with guns…

Ok, enough of that. Bears have been known to force their way into houses and cabins. But!  There was a bear who found a more interesting way of entering an abode, that of…

…James T Martin, who owned a sawmill.

He came down the chimney?

Well, not quite.

Strange places don’t have to be very big. The problem with bears is that they get into all kinds of trouble. They kill people, they eat kids, they knock over your garbage cans, they break into your house, they come down your chimney, they pull you out of your tent…but there is yet another crime…

Let me explain…

There’s no denying that bears like cars…

Keep your doors locked, because bears know how to open them…

Hey look pal! You ain’t going nowhere!

Give me the car or I’ll eat the kid!

Damn! It’s the cops!

The problem with bears and cars is that bears get easily frustrated when they can’t make them go…

But that is not to say that they can’t…

 The bear managed to get the door open, then accidentally hit the gear shift, putting the car in neutral and sending it rolling down a hill. 

Last night a delinquent bear pulled open an unlocked driver's door and climbed in, and of course, the door closed behind it. The bear worked on digging out through all 4 doors, but apparently butt-shifted the car into neutral. The authorities called the incident "a good reminder to keep your car doors locked, especially in bear country."

Butt-shifted?

Even the Three Stooges had an unfortunate experience with a bear when they went hunting…

…Those eggs look good.

I love honey too.

Wallop!

Always signal your turns.

So, the stooges go camping for relaxation. However, they end up in a tussle with a bear. And you can guess who one. The bear at all the eggs and honey. Then he hid in the backseat of the car, knocking Larry and Curly on the head several times. Finally, he stole the car and drove away.

But he wasn’t a very good driver. Be sure to have bear insurance for your car. And when all is said and done, you might try to trap a naughty bear, but you may find they’re not very impressed…

We’ve seen bears show up in strange places, but something is missing…

Now we have a hotel.

How about another location?

This tragedy actually occurred on the Okanagan Indian Reserve. But it wasn’t the only case. Another instance happened at Fort Apache Indian Reservation. Of course, I’m speaking of…

…seven-year-old Penny Sizemore.

So bear in mind, the Apache were clearly attempting to make sure that all campers knew the danger posed by bears. What did Penny’s father say?

Obviously, he didn’t read the brochure. And who even needs one? Wilderness camping means bears, and you’re a fool if you don’t know they can be dangerous.

You can’t love all animals if you hate bears. This is the first time I have seen the use of a suitcase as ant-bear weapon. And Penny was a girl who was able to stay calm and escape.

 If you think you are safe at a college football game…think again…

So again, we bring it on ourselves. Baylor has always had bears for mascots. Currently there are two…

…troublemakers named Indy and Belle.

Thankfully, that was a onetime event. But wait, it had its precedent, set in 1932…

So a crippled man in a wheelchair, who was 44 years old, wheels himself up to the UCLA mascot, and reaches his hand in. How many times is this mistake going to be made, by children and adults?

And there’s no way I would miss…

…Little Jan Stewart.

So Mrs. Stewart shops at a meat-packing plant instead of the grocery store? Still, it’s a good way to buy whole carcasses. And for whatever reason, there is a pet bear in the meat-packing plant, and we all know that no respectable meat-packing plant would not have its own bear. And how secure was this cage? Yes, it was made of chicken wire. It provides much better security than mere iron bars. Please remember! Next time you’re shopping at your local meat-packing plant, watch out for bears.

If your baby sister fell down a well, and you bravely entered the well and saved her…the danger was over. Well, I would have thought that. But when you climbed out the well, something may be waiting. Just ask Tommy Stout…

Brave Johnny Stout!  And no matter how I wish it wasn’t, the story is just that…a story. Johnny Stout figures in a child’s nursery rhyme.

Ding dong bell,
Pussy’s in the well.
Who put her in?
Little Johnny Green.
Who pulled her out?
Little Tommy Stout.
What a naughty boy was that,
To try to drown poor pussy cat,
Who never did him any harm,
But killed the mice in his farmer's barn.

For some reason, some nursery rhymes include some pretty bad characters. But Little Tommy Stout saved the pussy cat from the well. And we all know that…

…turnabout is fair play. And yes, Johnny got his sopping wet deserts.

In the case of the newspaper article, the cat becomes his sister, and no one throws her down the well. But Johnny Stout climbs into the well to save her and then, stepping out of the well, must face the real danger.

This attack technically happened in the woods, but bears were showing up elsewhere…

So these are downtown bears, who had never caused any problems before. One of the bears had even attempted to go into a bar to have a beer. He must have been too young to drink.

One wonders whether it was the seeing the boys near blueberries, an important source of food for bears, that set them off. And it’s a darn good thing that Mrs. McIsaac finally decided that the boys weren’t telling her a…children’s story, or Doug McIsaac would probably have died.

The events that happen in tents and houses have been discussed. And it was shown that your car isn’t safe. The topics of tents is an important one…

Indeed, bears like the same things humans do…

Hey! Sometimes they keep cold beer in these!

Hello! Is anyone home?

It’s not just car doors that bears can open. They will attempt to enter your home or cabin by opening a door…

This bear…

…broke into the same house over and over again.

Hello, I’m here! I bet you wished you locked the door!

They will even open your garage door…

They will attempt to get into your house through the…

…the cat door. Nor is your…

…swimming pool safe. Bears are very smart. They watch humans, and will imitate what they see them do.

A closed door won’t stop a bear that has figured out how to open it. I have yet to find proof that bears can pick locks, so you’re probably safe behind your locked door. But the biggest mistake you can make…

…is leaving the door open. Brigham Hawkins was watching Youtube after enjoying a day of fishing, then he was attacked from behind…

An Arizona mom was counting her blessings Monday after her teenage son escaped from a black bear that barged into their family cabin with only some nasty scratches across his face and arm.

"This really could have been a lot worse," Carol Edington Hawkins told NBC News. "We're still in disbelief that this happened, but we're also feeling very blessed."

Blessed indeed. However, I’m not so sure that the bear exactly barged in…

Hawkins said her 15-year-old son, Brigham, was "just chilling" Thursday evening in one of two cabins her parents have on their property in Alpine when the bear "walked in through the front door and swiped him across the head."

"The front door was open to let the cool night air in," Hawkins said. "Brigham was watching YouTube and didn't realize what was happening."

Ok, the bear walked through an open door. But clearly, Mrs. Hawkins maintains that the door was left open on purpose, so as to let the cool night air into the cabin. But…

His family say he accidentally left the cabin door open, allowing the beast to get inside. 

Ok, so which was it…accidentally or intentionally? And did the bear really barge in or walk in?

 A black bear waltzed into an Arizona cabin Thursday and mauled a 15-year-old boy watching TV before the teen’s brave family chased the bruin off.

Ok, he danced through an open door. Apparently, the cabin doesn’t have windows. If it did, that would be the best way to let fresh air into a cabin located in a geographical area with a bear population. 

Windows? Oh, come on!

 And Alpine Arizona, the scene of the attack, Blue River Road in the Apache National Forest to be exact, is home to the black bear. So it would seem that leaving the door open is not the best idea. But even the pros seem to have missed the point…

Game and Fish reminds people who visit or live in bear-inhabited parts of the state to be aware of their surroundings. The state agency advises hiking in groups, making noise and avoiding scented lotions, deodorants or perfume. Pets should be kept on a leash.

The agency also advises securing food and other “attractants” and avoiding leaving food in a tent or grill. Campsites should be set up away from places where bears might forage for food, such as bodies of water.

I’m not sure that…

The AZGFD has some advice if you come nose-to-nose with a black bear: don't run away, but back off slowly, maintaining eye contact. Make yourself look as big as possible by waving your arms or hoisting your clothing over your head.

…doing a striptease is going help. Still, I would add that cabin doors must be kept closed. And lock them too. I doubt there are many bears good at picking locks. Yes, you must be sure to lock the door.